Friday, March 6, 2009

Marriage year 1: My thoughts

Ever since I got engaged, and even more so after I was married, there were 2 things I heard over and over...
  • When are you guys going to have kids?
  • The first year of marriage is always the hardest
As for the 2nd thing, I always thought that was kind of weird. I mean, your first year is exciting, new, and he still puts his dishes away and does his own laundry. BLISS! However, I am starting to believe the statement. Now, I don't have tons of perspective; it's only been like 1.4 years, but I think I'm onto something.

Sure, the 1st year is very romantic and exciting, but it's the first time you are living with someone who shares a bed with you. You have to work out the division of labor, change (or get over) each others bad habits, decorating styles, spending habits, birth control, and learn to live together. It's not hard when you love that person, but it still takes getting used to. These are some of the things we learned that year:
  • I need to decompress after work, and don't really want to talk right away
  • Ryan wants to go straight to sleep once in bed, and doesn't like when I have the lamp on to read
  • When I'm at the hair salon, Ryan just needs to be distracted from the total while I'm paying stimulating the economy...
  • Ryan needs to bring me a wet washcloth when I'm throwing up (without me having to ask)
The other thing for many young brides is that this is the 1st time you are independent (so to speak). When you get married, you have an endless string of decisions and paperwork that you never had to deal with before.
  • How do you add your spouse to your car insurance?
  • Do we file our taxes jointly?
  • I guess I should make you my beneficiary? Are you sure, because now I have to fill out all this paperwork that I have no clue what any of it means...
  • Are you going to be on my health insurance, or keep your own?
  • Joint email address, or keep your own?
  • Joint bank account at your bank, or mine?
All of these things sound stupid to worry about, but they were actually an issue to some degree for us.

Think about it, once you figure all those things out and adjust to them in the first year, you don't have to cross that bridge again. My first year of marriage was the best year of my life, but I really do notice a big difference in year 2...we just get to be married and enjoy life!


1 comment:

Theresa Bluhm said...

I totally agree! Year one was the REALLY getting to know each other phase. From here on out, you just get to love all of the things that in the first year would annoy you because you werent used to. Or at least that is how it feels for me. Everyone told me that the first year was the hardest too, but it was just a learning experience, and not at ALL a hard year. I'm looking forward to the rest! :)