Friday, August 28, 2009

Will blog for Lexapro

Since I've graduated from college and been "on my own", I've come to realized that adulthood has some strange side effects. I've become an incredibly anxious person.

Because I'm working my way into nursing school applications this fall, fears of rejection consume me, and I find myself calling my husband or mother in a panic, explaining to them my new theory of why I won't get in. (Sidenote: Sorry about the 23 missed calls on your cell yesterday, mom)

I know. I need help, right? Well, this is true, but I think I may have found at least a temporary cure for my permanent insanity: reading the message boards in my online classes.

You see, when we first start a class, the teacher has us make introductions on the message board, just as an icebreaker. Panic strikes at the beginning of every class when I read 19 entries that all say something like:

"Hi, I'm Julie, and I'm taking this class as a pre-req for Nursing school! I'm applying all over Houston because I want to see what kind of scholarship my 4.0 can get me!"


Okay, well maybe not that last part, but seriously, even my statistics class has 11 people applying this fall - all competing with me for admission. (breathing into a paper bag)

Anyway, I initially freak, however upon further reading, I realize most of these people are morons. I've seen some of the most random things under that "Introductions" thread. It calms me to know that unlike my competitors, I have a grasp of the English language, and know what the teacher wants when he asks for an introduction.

So, without further ado, I give to you, verbatim, my favorite three posts. I've changed the names to Adam and Alice to protect the guilty, but everything else is all them.

#1: "Hi name Alice I'm looking forward to see everyone in lab Saturday" (I copy and pasted, folks)

#2: "Hello class!!! My name is Alice and I am currently working on my degree in Nursing. I am a well rounded person. I am kind, understanding, sincere, loving, compassionate, and generous!!" (Okay Alice, it's not a dating site)

#3: "Hi everyone, my name is Adam, I am a dancer and if anybody is interested in learning should contact me, and i also have a dream in joining Cirque du Soleil"

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you the future nurses of America...

7 comments:

This Minneapolis Life said...

Ha ha ha ha. I'm an very anxious person too (no kidding, I even have panic attacks sometimes. Yuck.) so I totally understand the excessive worrying. And isn't it funny that 98% of the time we realize our fears were unfounded?!?

I am so glad you are back to blogging. :)

d.a.r. said...

I am peeing my pants laughing!! This has to help reassure you a tiny bit...those people are total weirdos and/or morons!

- Sarah :-) said...

Oh my word... shut up! Are you kidding me? Maybe you should hook Adam and Alice #2 up. Seems like a good fit. And maybe Alice #1 is in the wrong class... perhaps they need grammar first! ha ha ha

This is hysterical. LOVING it!!

And BTW - I agree with comment #1 that I'm glad you're back! And if no where else, you know you'll always have us itching to hear more from you! No anxiety needed here, my dear!

Lil' Woman said...

A dancer in Cirque Du Solei?!? Really Adam?

Callie said...

Dont be anxious or nervous!! You will do great, as long as your not planning to join the Cirque de Solei. I am pretty sure Adam is confident that he will get in.
On the subject of the morons you spoke of, isnt it crazy that some of those people even get into college in the first place?!? I actually saw someone spell Khaki *KACKIE* today. WOW!

Mandie said...

Welcome back!! I am seriously doubting that any of those people will become nurses...seems like they all have other "callings"!!

The Grigsbys said...

You crack me up! I'm glad you're back. Don't sweat nursing school...I think you have it in the bag (considering the competition).